The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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