Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Randomize
