so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
