This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
