i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
there's paper in my vomit.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
