ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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