My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
