I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
