My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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