her vagine was all disorganized.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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