This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He did a backflip because drugs
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
