Pants 0. Shit 1.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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