You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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