She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I have already put on my inside pants.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
