I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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