Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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