get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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