Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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