If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
