His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
