You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Do you still have your period?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
