if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Text me some of your sweat
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize