i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Randomize
