Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
