I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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