you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
