After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I believe in your delicious
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize