We're facebook friends in real life
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
