i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
