Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
