Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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