Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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