An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
