So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
is it fun? or sober?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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