I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
