I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
