im drinking this country out of the recession.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
