"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
