I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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