i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
