I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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