I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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