she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
