My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize