He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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