I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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