You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
