big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize