we made out on top of his cat.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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