pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
