sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
