I accidentally had phone sex last night
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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