OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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