Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
