I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
