After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just forgot I was standing up.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
